My Life in Words


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Thursday, March 31, 2005


Song of the moment: Mr. Big - Not One Night

I used to dream of only you
Now I don't do that
I used to miss talkin' to you
Oh, now I don't do that
Since you've been gone
I learned to stop
Tryin' to hold on
Because there's......

Not one night
One single day
That I wouldn't give to you
So with all my might
In every way
I'll try to forget you too
Not One Night by Mr Big

As all of you know from my previous entry, I am now taking a Sabbatical away from Hakka Methodist. Now, I am attending my parent's church, Sengkang Methodist Church's 40 day Purpose Driven Life program. So what was it like really, my 1st actual Sunday in the church? Well, it was alright. Still don't really know any of the youths there, save these two guys, Sebastian and Andy, who are in my Small Group for the 40 Day program and Geraldine, if she's still attending SKMC that is (though, I think she might have forgotten about me already...). Since last Sunday was the combined service for Easter, there wasn't any Youth Worship or Sunday School (at least not to my knowledge), so can't really comment on the environment and culture there but it does seem promising.
For the cell/Small/Bible Study group or whatever you might choose to call it, I'll be attending my first session tomorrow night at my group leader, Keith's house. If I am right, he was formerly from Hakka and he seems a pretty cool guy. So do wish me luck. And for those in my Hakka cell, forgive me for leaving at such a time. I'll be back once this is over so just bear with me.

Just had my E. Comm common test paper today. No major problems were encountered during the test and I did answer most of the questions with a reasonable amount of confidence in my answers. While I am probably not going to ace this module thanks to the poor marks in my quizzes, I should have no problem getting at least a 'C' in this (with some luck, of course). Got another common test coming up tomorrow which I haven't really started studying for. Since most of the class already has a certified pass on this, no one's probably going to take this test too seriously. But of course we're all still going to study for it, me included. This WAS one of the modules which I though I could get an 'A' for but of course that was before I found out about BJTs, JFETs and OP-AMPs. So what grade I get for this I'll leave it to our lecturer a.k.a Bus Driver and the rest of the examiners.

I still got lots and lots of exams (well, actually just 1 common test, 1 lab test and 3 exams) to look forward to so everyone, do keep me in your prayers. I would also want to wish our dear YX best of luck as he soon will be joining our Men in Blue at Thomson Road in a few week's time.

PS: Before I forget, Many thanks to the Ministry of Education and whoever else who did the schedule for us NYP MIT students for taking away the Holidays of us Attachment/Project students.

Thursday, March 24, 2005


Song of the moment: 周杰伦(Jay Chou) - 晴天(qing tian)

I guess nearly everyone who matters already know about it. I will be on a sort of temporary leave of absence, a sort of sabbatical if you must, from HKMC from this Sunday onwards. I will be on the six week, or rather, 40 day Purpose Driven Life program at Sengkang. Its all been arranged nicely, go there for the next few Sundays with my parents, and I'll also be attached to a cell group conveniently located in Ang Mo Kio for the six weeks. Certainly, I will miss Hakka. After all I've been there since I was born, with the exception for that couple of months where I was at SKMC with my parents when they were starting out. I'll miss the people there most of all, Joanne, Shu Hui, Daniel, Jason, Kai-Ge and of course, Her. They always say absence makes the heart grow fonder...with or without it...depending on the individual, of course. With some luck, I'll see you one final time tomorrow...then after that its 'See you after 6 weeks'. Whatever happens during this time when I am not there, I wish you the best of luck for your posting, studies and whatever else you need luck for. You guys, don't miss me too much! And, I guess I am sorry for dragging Melvin along with me for this. Not that he needed much dragging anyway but still, I am depriving you all of one friend and committee member. Forgive me for that, yeah...

Really just got through this really stressful two weeks, rushing through my projects completing them by their deadlines and finishing one of three common tests, which all have been moved up by a week thanks to MOE's meddling in the Poly education system (which essentially means, no 1 week break for us). Nontheless, I made it through all that...Thank God.

Shi Jie has also been talking to be about a few stuff. One of them blog's last entry about Chinese songs being more unique than English songs...(Haha, what did you think I was going to say?). In 'retaliation' to that statment, he promptly sent me a number of songs by Mr. Big and Fire House, all of them classics. So, in complete fairness, I'll now say that both Chinese and English songs are unique in their own way, okay SJ?
Tomorrow's also Serena's Birthday, so a very Happy Birthday to you, Rena, straight from the blog of Anthony Chia. We(the class or rather, SJ, Jon, KT, Jodi, Winnie and myself) bought the presents for you today at J8 and of course, I am definitely not saying what the presents are. Either way, you'll find out tomorrow, yes?

Also, I REALLY want to watch a movie soon...preferably a good one of course, before I start mugging for the exams. So, if anyone requires some nice, caring and all round good guy to accompany them, feel free to call me! ^_^
KK and JY has also just come back from the Island of Horror. Please call/contact them and start bugging them with nonsensical questions like how was their experience in Tekong.

Note: Both G SEED Destiny and Mai-Hime are both getting really exciting, fans of these anime, you must KEEP watching!

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Music to my Ears

Song of the moment: 周杰伦(Jay Chou) - 藉口(Jie Kou)

I find that whenever I am in love, lovesick, just got rejected by someone I really like or something similar, I go on this mp3 downloading spree. When it was Nat, it started off with S.H.E and ended with 5566 and now, with you, its Jay Chou (And in case you're wondering, of course its mostly love/sad songs). I was never really a fan of Chinese pop or R&B to begin with, but ever since graduating from Secondary School, I find myself more and more inclined to listen to Chinese music. Perhaps it's influence from Che Wei, Kris and the others, but I find that Chinese songs have a way of expressing feelings which is a lot more unique compared to English songs. Sure, I may need the occasional help of a translator or a Chinese lyrics website to fully grasp the meaning but nontheless, Chinese songs are great to listen to.

Something I forgot to post in last week's update was that KK and JY are now on our nation's National Slavery program in the sunny island of Pulau Tekong. We wish them good health and lots of happy times with the friendly fitness trainers of Tekong.

I guess its more or less confirmed already...but it doesn't mean that I was anymore ready compared to 2 months ago. I never like to leave too many loose ends hanging at one place. All I can do is just pray and hope for the best...after all its only temporary for now. However, we all know a lot of things can happen between now and May day.

Oh...and if you happen to be reading this, hope you had a great holiday in HK. I have no idea what has happened between us ever since last December and I absolutely don't know what you are playing at, with this attitude of yours. Unlike a good friend of mine, I am not going to scream expletives or anything, because for the fact that I still like you...a lot. I would be lying to myself if I said I wasn't hoping that you would have a change of heart. Truth be told, I don't know if you are still with that guy or not but I KNOW you deserve A LOT BETTER than him. You know why? Because you are one of the most wonderful people I've ever met in my life and from the looks of it, its him who doesn't deserve you not the other way round. Maybe I don't deserve you, but there will be someone out there who does, who will love you and care for you as you truly deserve to be.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Words of Wisdom

Song of the moment: Mika Arisaka - Life Goes On(Gundam SEED Destiny 2nd ED)

Watched Hitch on Sunday with KK and Mel. Not really the best of choices, considering its what you would call, a 'Date Movie'. The movie was funny though although a little lame. Remember, if a girl fiddles with her keys at the door, it means...[Movie Rating: 6.5/10]
Then, went to Jon's house for the first time in my life yesterday. Real nice place with a great view. After finishing up one part of the project, started watching movies and L'Arc~en~Ciel concerts and MVs. Real cool, especially with Jon's new $1.3k desktop.
Lots of tests, exams, schoolwork and projects to look forward to in the next two weeks or so. Wish me godspeed people!

Found this article in a magazine.
School Sweetheart
If things didn't eventually work out with the first true love (the one you promised yourself you'd marry), she will forever be 'the other woman', the spectre of regret stalking all subsequent relationships, the impossible standard against which all others are compared. One's latter loves stand no chance against the memory of girlfriend number one, the one who loved you when you were a penniless, uncultured oaf, the one we loved before the cares and hurts of the world had robbed us of our innocence, and our capacity to love without reserve. The first love is not perfect, but the memory of her is.
(Brownie points to anyone who can tell me which magazine this paragraph came from!! Excluding SJ and Jon... ^_^)

Now this really got me thinking. Firstly, what exactly qualifies someone to be our 'first true love'? 'The one you promised yourself you'd marry'? Is that really just it? When I thought about it, I never really did compare the one whom I considered my 'first true love' to her. In fact, I couldn't really compare the both of them, for they were really at opposite ends of the spectrum. Perhaps I am exegerrating a little bit but they are rather different from each other. So was she my 'first true love' after all? Perhaps, my 'first true love' was her all along? Yes, its true...I did think about what it would be like to be married to you, going through our jobs, having children and watching them grow up, most, if not the whole works. I really took the advice Ming Yao gave me some time ago to heart. Can't remember the exact words that he said but it went along the lines of 'Consider the girl that you're dating as someone who might be your future wife'. Honestly, I really thought that I would be very happy if I could spend the rest of my life with you. Sounds horribly corny but I am very serious.
Secondly, as I was saying earlier, would a person really compare everyone of his or her subsequent relationships to their 'first true love'? So, if it were true, then the only way where a person would truly experiencing a fufilling relationship with someone else was if that 'someone else' bested the 'first true love' in all aspects? Otherwise, would you dare say that you can totally forget all about your 'first true love'? If you can, then I would say you are a rather despicable,inhumane oaf without feeling.

To me, the only sentence which is true is 'The first love is not perfect, but the memory of her is.' Without a shadow of a doubt...

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

It's not the things you do which hurt, it's the things you don't...

Song of the moment: T.M. Revolution - Heart of Sword

Yaru dake son suru yona, mainichi wa
Sha ni kamaeteta hou koso, raku ni naru

Atsukute, tsurai jibun wo kakushite, mijikai toki wo ikiteru

Hitori de wa, tooi ashita wo
Yoake no mama de, koesou de
Hottokeba, hashiru omoi yo
Yume mo mata, sure chigai

Kanpeki to chau, jinsei no shuushi
Puramai zero da nanteba honto ka na?
Shinu made ni tsukaikiru, un no kazu
Semete, jibun de dashiire wo sasete

(More effort, more damage--this is my daily life.
Taking a cynical attitude may give me some comfort...

Hiding myself, heated and irritated; living only a short time.

When I'm alone, tomorrow feels far away.
And I must go over still into the darkness of dawn.
If I let my emotions free,
My dreams will once again not go well.

I think the balance sheet of my life is imperfect.
If I add up the pluses and minuses, will it really equal zero?
I want to control all my luck
That may be used up before my life is ended.)
Heart of Sword by T.M. Revolution

Watched Howl's Moving Castle last Saturday. Despite the 'overwhelming' response, only JY managed to make it in the end. I was really hoping more people would come, especially since a few people, including JY would be making the trip to Tekong soon, where our National 'Get Fit' program (a.k.a National Service) for males 18 and above is being held. Nonetheless, the movie was pretty good.
Basically, Howl no Ugoku Shiro is about a girl, Sophie Hatter, who has been cursed to become a 90 year old lady by the wicked Witch of the Waste. Thus, she decides to run away from home, in the hope of finding a cure when she inadvertently runs into the Wizard Howl and his moving castle. Although it had a strong start, it started to get a little confusing towards the end. Should you have any doubts about the plot, I recommend that you purchase the original novel by Diana Wynne Jones to clear your doubts. [Movie Rating: 8.5/10]

Played Touch Rugby on Sunday with a couple of the youth. Considering that two-thirds of them failed to turn up, the fact that we did play was probably a blessing. Due to a couple of unique rules that Melvin came up with to try and make it an even game, our team led from start to finish (thanks a lot to Su Ai), even though I lost track of the score 15 minutes into the game. After the game, I wanted to talk to KK about it, but something came up, so it was delayed until later at night, when we could finally talk in private. After finding out what they talked about, I really wanted to cry/angst/scream in agony out loud. But I couldn't. In fact, if I think about it, I haven't had a good cry in years.

There's a chinese saying you know, which says "Real men only shed blood, not tears". Unconsciously, I have been following this saying for years. However, recent events has led me to reconsider it. That, perhaps I've been taking it too literally. Perhaps, being able to express your true emotions, be it happiness or sadness, is a sign of strength too? I guess that I've been bottling up my feelings and emotions for so long that maybe...I've forgotten how to cry. Some people may laugh at this, some may feel sorry, others might even understand...but this is just how I feel.

PS: I also find it funny that for the past few weeks Melvin of all people has been telling me what I've been trying to tell him to do a month or so ago. Well, I guess that's a good thing but...just let me off the hook for a while alright? Give me a little time first.

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