My Life in Words


University Student
Wannabe Otaku
Struggling Christian




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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Thank You, God...for giving me all I wanted

Song of the moment: Hillsongs - One Way

I lay my life down at your feet
You're the only one I need
I turn to you and you are always there

In troubled times its you I seek
I put you first thats all I need
I humble all I am, All to you

One way
You're the only one that I could live for
One Way
You're the only one that I could live for
One Way by Hillsongs

Feel a lot better compared to last week. This is, of course, due to many reasons. One of the major reasons being that last Monday, the 22nd of August, was my Birthday! Thank you to all who took the time to wish me a happy birthday and more thanks to those who bought/gave me gifts. (^_^) Also, to all those who never wished me a Happy Birthday, I forgive you...LOL.

Attachment is still horribly monotonous, whether I am busy or not. It's still either HTML editing/endless photocopying of training manuals or just stoning/surfing the net/playing games in the office. At least its not that bad when I am playing GBA games in the emulator I just downloaded or trying to reach level 9 of Bejeweled 2...LOL. Thankfully, our supervisors have not really been in the office for the past few days as they're still training our Men-in-Blue how to use the software. So, our group, (or at least Farhan and I, as it seems that Jacob, Selina and Sharon seem strangely hardworking...), has been taking it slow for the past couple of days. 5 and a 1/2 more weeks of monotony to go before the holidays...Gambaruyo!!

Cell was kind of missing a couple of people last Friday. Only Sebastian, Jia Wei, Sandar, Regina and I were there for Cell (Keith, our cell leader, was also there of course). Then, last Saturday, was my first time doing the slides for worship during FFW and although it started well, I kind of screwed up towards the end as I mis-typed one of the slides for the song, 'Father of Creation'...sorry people (T_T). I will try my best to improve this coming Saturday! FFW was fun nonetheless. Especially with Sebastian up to his usual antics. I also found out that something like 3/4 of the Youth know about what is now dubbed the 'Stranger' incident (Look back at my blog's July 12th entry to have a very short summary of the incident). Sandar was like, of course, begging everyone(including me, the 'Stranger') who knew about it not to say a single word to those who didn't. I wasn't surprised events like this spread like the Haze, especially with people like Keith and Sebastian in my CG. Don't worry Sandar, I didn't tell anyone about it...except Jowell, who might tell...

I went back to HKMC last Sunday to supposedly settle some stuff. As it turns out, the only stuff there is for me to settle is to collect my birthday gifts from both Melvin and Auntie Lay Kim. I thought that someone there will like start a long discussion about how I was doing in SKMC. Apparently, I was quite wrong...not that it was a wasted trip or anything, of course.

Now, an update about HBP. I am now up to chapter 26, The Cave, where Dumbledore takes Harry along with him to destroy one of Voldemort's Hocruxes (for a more in depth explanation, just read the book... :-P). Also, as it turns out, I was right about chapter 22 being a crucial part in Character/Relationship development as it triggers a chain of events where Ginny breaks up with Dean and eventually starts dating Harry in chapter 25. Hooray for all H/G shippers!! Muggles should start reading it too...(in Yoda-like accent) a brilliant piece of literature, Harry Potter is...

I really appreciate everyone who took the time and effort to wish me a Happy Birthday. Many more thanks to those who gave me gifts, be it material items or not so material ones...
Don't say you don't deserve it. I've never regretted getting to know you. You are a great person in every way and you deserve more than I could ever give. I sincerely hope that you'll also find your own happiness. Once again, may God bless you in all your endeavors, both present and future.

Thank you for everything...

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

When hopes and dreams disappoint...

Song of the moment: 王力宏 (Wang Lee Hom) - 爱错 (Ai Cuo)

翻开回忆角落 完美的生活
仔细回味当初 那个故事背后
Oh 原来是我 犯下从没承认的错

我从来没想过 我会这样做
从来没爱过 所以爱错
我从哪里起飞 从哪里降落
多少不能原谅的错 却不能重来过

(Remembering the past, a perfect life
When I thought happiness was in my grasp
Carefully recollecting our story's end
Oh it was me who made a mistake I never admitted

I never thought that I would do that
Never having loved before, I loved you wrongly
No matter where I take off or where I land
This unforgivable mistake with no second chance)
Ai Cuo by Wang Lee Hom
I couldn't find a translation for this so I did it myself...Hope its accurate enough for those Wang Lee Hom fanatics...I actually bothered to put the lyrics was because this song really touched on how I've felt...

This isn't really the best of days for me...felt kind of gloomy the past few days...for reasons I won't reveal here. Well, at least not directly... Those who know me well enough should be able to guess (Keyword: SHOULD). If you can't guess, then maybe you don't know me well enough...LOL, just kidding. As most of you might know I am kind of a 'emo'(emotional) person so just bear with me as you read through this sometimes horribly angsty, sometimes excruciatingly joyful blog...

As per normal, I'll start off with an assessment of my current week of Industrial Attachment, which happens to be week 5. Last few days, we have been doing work given to us by Alex. It's basically HTML editing on a mass scale, thankfully shared among the group. It's still pretty easy, updating the screenshots with newer ones from the current version and playing around with various tags like mouse-over etc... However, we'll all be resuming our work as 'Paper Technologists' (Read previous entry for explanation) soon as our dear Men-in-Blue require 230++ copies of training materials and its up to us to save the day...sigh.
Something I forgot to mention last week is that I might have a chance to visit PCC (Stop thinking too much, you perverts...) otherwise known as Police Cantonment Complex where my good friend YX (is not/might/may/probably is/probably isn't - To YX, please choose the correct option) hanging out at! So if it happens that my boss requests us to go there to help with the CBT, then (look forward to/cringe at the thought of) hanging out with me!

Cell was as usual last Friday. Everyone came with the exception of Ming Kiat (I think...). I helped ta pao(takeaway) for me and my mom but was a little late thanks to Sengkang's (and Bus 86...) amazingly efficient bus route system. Nonetheless, she managed to have a decent, if not somewhat hurried meal. I also handed in an article about D'Anchor which I owe Sally (Oh, I sympathize with writers who work without any reward except persecution, LOL. But still because of this...). She also sat in for observation during my CG but that clearly didn't stop Sebastian from adding some life into CG.
I've also been assigned to do the Powerpoint slides for the next FFW (all are invited, every Saturday, 7PM in SKMC Room 3-1!!). All thanks to Deborah, who is 'retiring' due to 'O' levels and Jamie, who took this opportunity to indirectly recruit me into the Communication team(Basically, from what I've been told, the Publicity and IT people). This basically means I have to arrive early with the Music team to go through the slides etc... Thus, my weekend is reduced to Saturday mornings and Sunday late afternoon/evening. The things we sacrifice to serve God...I'll gladly give (just give me some R&R time, OK God? ^_^).

I am now up to Chapter 22 of HBP, 'After the Burial'. Harry, in order to get a crucial memory about Voldemort from Professor Slughorn, drinks a little of his precious bottle of Felix Felicis and decides to take 'fate' into his own hands...
Probably(haven't finished the chapter yet...) a crucial part in Character/Relationship development in HBP. Really REALLY looking forward to how it( know...IT...) turns out.

I still haven't gave Melvin an answer about going back to HKMC this Sunday. I honestly thought I knew my answer at the beginning of this week but as the week went on, I started having second thoughts. One of the reasons(not the main one) I left HKMC was honestly because I was tired of waiting, waiting for an opportunity to prove myself. To be given an opportunity I thought I deserved. Now, I probably know that this opportunity will never be given to me. I fear that, if I go back I'll just keep hoping, waiting for the opportunity to come once again, all because I keep looking back.
I am disappointed in myself...
I've read MJ's blog recently and what he has said is right. Instead of looking back, hoping and dreaming about something which will never come, we should look back and learn from our mistakes. Learn from it and at the same time, look forward to the next person God will want you to meet... People(incld. myself) constantly blame God when things don't go according to plan, but have they ever thought that their plan is not God's plan? God has allowed our plan to fail so that his might succeed. No matter how disappointed we are of our failures, remember "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV)

When hopes and dreams serve no purpose but to disappoint
When fantasies and desires hold no ground in life
What then, can one do to live again?

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Oddly contented but yet...not really

Song of the moment: T.M Revolution - Vestige (Gundam SEED Destiny Strike Freedom Image Song)

As my heading says, today I feel oddly contented, even though I know nothing has really happened to make me feel this way. Thus, I feel somewhat perplexed by my light-heartedness. Although of course, it could be because...

So anyway, putting aside my now not-so-perplexing feelings of contentment, I would like to wish Cari Ann Seet a very happy 17th Birthday. I sincerely hope that you like the present I got you. Initially, I had no idea what I should buy for your birthday but when I saw that gift, I thought it'll be perfect (Of course, whether it's really perfect, only you truly know...). I hope that your future birthdays will be even better than this one.
Also, 9th of August was also Singapore's birthday a.k.a National Day. So, I wish Singapore a happy 40th birthday.

I am now into my fourth week of attachment. It's still been mainly photocopying and binding for me and Farhan (our job, as Farhan affectionately calls it, is 'Paper Technologists'). Not that I am complaining of course...though I am hoping that they'll stop asking us to do it at the last minute. It s kind of weird, having 2-3 days of nothing to do and suddenly having to do a rush photocopying job the next day. However, I did do some HTML editing on Monday (or rather, Jacob asked me to help him with it...). Whether, we'll do 'real' work, I guess I'll find out sooner or later.

Last Friday's cell...well, there wasn't any cell last Friday. So went home early for a bit of R&R (Anime, gaming, anime, gaming...). I know a couple of my cell members went for Festival of Praise however I didn't go. Mainly because I was a little lazy (:-P) and the earliest I'll reach there without taking a taxi would be 1800Hrs. Can you imagine what the crowd would be like, especially with Delirious and Hillsongs there. Anyways, tomorrow's CG will probably be in church again. So I'll probably make my way down straight from work or home, depending on the time and circumstances.

Last Saturday happened to be the first session for FastForward a.k.a FFW, which is D'Anchor's Saturday worship and prayer session held in Church. Though not many people came for FFW (my whole CG was there though, with the exception of Sandar and Regina), it was still pretty fun. The worship and prayer was really helpful and eye-opening in a sense. Reverend Lek was our speaker for that session too. After the sermon, there was cake and sparkling fruit juice which everyone tried to pass off as Champagne to eat and drink.
It's held every Saturday in SKMC, so everyone and anyone (provided you 'think' you're a youth...LOL) whether you're Christian or not, is invited to come and join in the fun. ^_^

Keith came to talk to me after Sunday school about my service in church. Actually it was more like him informing me about what my future responsibilities in D'Anchor. I was to be groomed to be a future CG leader (this I already know, since my mom had given me the heads up on this and Keith told me about this last month) and (drum roll, please...) a future Youth Sunday school teacher together with Sandar. My mom did tell me about this sometime ago but I didn't really take it seriously. After all, I will be going into NS about a year from now so I thought, how will I have the time to teach the youths? Well, apparently Sally and Keith thinks otherwise, so me and Sandar will be Keith's Tu Di(Disciples). I'll also be taking over the Sunday pre-SS activities (since worship is now on Saturdays as stated above) for every fourth Sunday of the 2nd month (25th September being our first). Looks like I've got lots to look forward to, huh?
I also got a rather unexpected early birthday present from my Mom. Considering my interests in the past couple of months, you should know if it's not a game, it's a Gundam model kit. Indeed, not only is my early birthday present a Gundam model kit, its also my VERY FIRST MG(Master Grade) kit. For those of you who might not know, MG is the 2nd highest 'Grade' you can get for a Gundam model kit (the highest being PG(Perfect Grade), usually the biggest(1/60 scale), the most detailed, difficult to build and it costs a bomb (a PG Strike Gundam costs $200++)). It's a MG Strike Rouge (those of you who watch either of the Gundam SEED series should know). I'll probably start working on it earliest after my attachment.

As I've mentioned near the beginning of my post, 9th of August is National Day in Singapore. So, to revel in the usually non-existent patriotic frevor (only happens on National Day or when our country's sports team/person reaches the latter stages of an international tournament), my family and I decided to make our way down to Yishun to join in the Celebration@Heartlands activities there. We got so-called VIP tickets (basically we had seats and the usual NDP 'goodies' backpack) which required us to wear white and be part of a Singapore 'flag' together with other people. When we were finally ushered into the seating area (after much confusion), we saw a couple of people from Church (got our tickets from church, so...), including Reverend Lek and family. Throughout the viewing of the National Day Parade on the 'giant LED screens' (that's what they call it anyway...), there were synchronized activities with the Padang (the usual Kallang/Singapore/Mexican wave (depending on where you're from), tambourine banging etc...) and also various live entertainment (Yoyo-ers from some group, song singing from teenage idols and a laughter therapist to name a few). I didn't really catch on to the patriotic fervor which other people (especially the people from the 'red' half) reveled in. Still, I somewhat enjoyed my time there and took quite a few pictures (which I may or may not post on imageshack). Probably the only disappointment I had was my failure to take any pictures of HK pop group Twins since I left early...ARGH!

I've read till the end of Chapter 18, 'Birthday Surprises', where Ron gets poisoned after drinking some Mead given by Professor Slughorn. Half-Blood Prince at this point is really starting to pick up some pace now in terms of plot development. Looking forward to more of HBP soon...

As a sort of side note, I'll be going to Hong Kong from December 1st to the 6th. So, you might or might not want to start asking me to help you buy the horribly cheap stuff there. Depending on what you are asking me to help you buy, I also might or might not agree to your request. In the end, might or might not, just ask, okay (^_^)?

Oddly contented but yet...not really...I am at ease,its good to see you smile again...

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Sometimes, it's just the thought that counts...

Song of the moment: Lifehouse - Blind

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like is was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
Blind by Lifehouse

A somewhat late entry this week. For reasons I find somewhat embarassing so I won't mention it here...

Third week of attachment. I really am beginning to notice that they have a habit of asking us to photocopy stuff at the last minute. Hopefully with Yuen Shiong, our supervisor, now having Farhan (One of my fellow NYP interns) mobile number, things will run more smoothly. Anyways, Alex has assigned us to do error checking for the Online Help of the Case Management System, whis is rather unfortunately, very draggy and tedious. Let's hope that we'll get this over with soon enough.

Friday's cell-out was kind of fun. I was a little early when I reached there and found out that our cell-out was held together with Jessica's CG (well, I think it's her cell anyway...), so a couple of people like Issac and Samuel (who happens to be my junior in MIT) were there. Since Jessica and Keith weren't there yet, we were all kind of running around, having fun and enjoying the atmosphere. Sebastian, Einstein and Jia Wei (To be honest, I have no idea who really started it...) had this real mature idea of locking a couple of the girls out of the room and for some inexplicable idea, I guess most of the other guys joined in the fun. It was Sandar and Regina who were the main victims (Well, its not that I didn't want to help you Sandar...).
After Keith and Jessica arrived and when things had settled down (after more 'Mature' behaviour from Sandar and Sebastian), we all started watching Inuyasha: Feelings that trancend time DVD (of course, it was my DVD... ^_^). Really glad to see that everyone enjoyed themselves. Besides, I've got to build my reputation as SKMC's Anime-king...LOL! So if anyone needs anime, you all know who to look for...
Keith might be bringing us to Festival of Praise tomorrow instead of having cell in church. I don't really have any preference so we'll see how that goes...

Sunday was rather enjoyable. It was 'Connection Sunday' a.k.a Telematch in SKMC so basically the entire English Congregation, including the kids and us Youths were split into several teams. Half of my cell ended up in the 'White' group, which was essentially one of the adult's (can't remember who...bleah) CG. Of course, as it turns out, all the guys in my cell with the exception of Keith (who was in Tiff's Mom's (Siew Keng) group by the way) didn't turn up. So that left me with Sandar and Regina in Team 'White'. Talked a little to Regina during the games (it was more about the games rather than ourselves). She seems a pretty nice gal... ^_^
Anyways, after a very exciting Tug-of-War (which we got trashed by Auntie Siew Keng's team in the Finals), an absolutely horrendous caterpillar race (barely got past the 3rd person, which was me...) and an alright Water Race, our team finished second in the standings. Our prize? Two pizzas from Canadian 2 for 1. The pizza tasted okay, though not as warm as I would have liked.

I am now at Chapter 13 of Half-Blood Prince, 'The Secret Riddle', where they expand more on the history of Lord Voldemort and how he became the Dark Lord that he is now. A really good chapter for this book because you rarely see good character development for the main villain. Also, Harry is starting to see Ginny in a different light which is brilliant news for a H/G shipper like me and many others out there.

Melvin wants me to go back to HKMC on the 21st of August, which happens to be the day before my birthday. I got a sneaking suspicion that the patriach of the other Chia family is behind this. Perhaps, a birthday lunch treat? Well, I don't want to get my hopes up high or anything. Besides, I am also expecting a birthday treat from my parents so I'll think about it first.

I think I already know what to buy for her birthday or at least have a decent idea of what to get. Could be getting it either today, tomorrow or at worse, Saturday. I am pretty sure that YOU don't read my blog but I know for a fact that at least one of your good friends do, so if people like SH or Mel (who already knows...) are reading this, please don't tell HER that I am getting something for her birthday. Let it be a surprise, huh?

I've decided to let you go...go where God wills you to go...and be happy. Sometimes, it's just the thought that counts...

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