My Life in Words


University Student
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Struggling Christian




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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

What memories are made of...

Song of the moment: Do As Infinity - Shinjitsu No Uta (Inuyasha 5th ED)

akaku nijimu taiyou wa subete o
terashite kita ima mo mukashi mo
kono yuuyami ni egaiteru souzou wa
hatashite kono te ni oenai mono na no ka?

motto ima ijou ni hadaka ni natte
ikite yuku jutsu oshiete yo
honno sukoshi dake watashi o yogoshite
sou yatte hitori kizutsuitari
mawari o nakushita to shite mo
shinjitsu no uta wa kono mune ni nagare

(The crimson-stained sun
has illuminated everything; now and the past
is what i have imagined within this twilight
more than my own hands can accomplish?

Please teach me how to live
a little more vulnerably than i do now
won't you taint me just a little?
that way, even if i get hurt
and lose everything around me
this song of truth will flow through my heart)
Shinjitsu No Uta by DAI

Gee, I've been listening to quite a lot of 'emo' songs recently. Maybe I am starting to reminisce about the 'good old days' or something...

Anyways, the 'grand finale' is approaching. This is my final week of attachment in NCS Pte Ltd. Strangely, this seems to be one of our busiest weeks throughout my IA group's entire stay in this company. I guess in a way I can understand that they want us to finish what we are currently doing so that they can find new ways to torture jobs for the next batch of IA Students...good luck to them, whoever you are...

I will also be doing one final run down to Cantonment tomorrow to deliver training materials. Coincidentally, I'll be having Cell on that day because quite a few people will be busy on Friday so its been moved up to Thursday. Maybe it's God's way of making things convenient for me? ^_^ Also, Sandar will be leading cell tomorrow for Sally to observe. In a way, its partially my fault for putting her in that situation as it was I who beat her in SPS (Scissors, Paper, Stone) for the right to choose who would lead cell for this week. If it wasn't her(as ACL), it would have been me(as...???). Anyways, the next time this happens, it would be me so I guess it's fair. Besides, I lack the experience...(Prepares to leech EXP points by observing...[Lol, I've been playing too many RPGs...])

Cell was as usual, with Sebastian's voice being the dominant voice in the room of course. On Saturday, Lena did the sermon and gave out lots of candy and crackers to those who answered questions/volunteered their ideas, much to the joy of Sidney, who didn't eat much(actually, I think he didn't eat anything...) for dinner. On Sunday, SS was combined with, as Samuel has 'affectionately' named them, 'The Rejects' (basically, Sebastian/Yew Seng/Jia Wei's class). Thus, SS last week was more...boisterous than usual. Then, after I got home, got to watch FF7: Advent Children's DVD rip on the PC. It was a really nice show, though having not completed FF7, still don't really understand certain aspects of the show. So, one of my targets for next month's holiday, to complete Final Fantasy VII!. Note: Tifa finally looks more proportionate in the movie...oh, and Yuffie's rather cute too...

What memories are made of...a combination of time, everyone's feelings...and a little part of our heart, perhaps? Only when we disassociate these memories from our hearts, then can we truly forget...

PS: Happy Belated Birthday to Sandar and JY!!!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

The look in your eyes...

Song of the moment: Rick Price - Heaven Knows

She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up 'til I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know

And though she's so far away
It just keeps gettin' stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Heaven Knows by Rick Price

Got this song from MJ quite awhile ago. Considering he gave it to me, that's not considered stealing right? ^_^
Anyways, I am down to my second last week of attachment and soon, we NYP students, will be free from the bondage that is NCS....LOL. Honestly, working at NCS isn't really that bad, considering it has a pretty nice environment, cool air-conditioning (sometimes, too COLD) and that we attachment students have a nice little room to ourselves. It's just that our work is horribly monotonous and we have a certain supervisor who keeps throwing us stuff to do. Even if they were to offer me double the pay to continue our work through the holidays, I would probably turn down the offer (No, not even three times...for four times ($500 x 4 = $2000), as Takuya Kimura says in Pride, 'Maybe...'). However, I probably will be going down to Cantonment again on Friday, so if YX or anyone else wants to meet up, you are more than welcome to.

Friday's cell was as per usual, though Mom was in church because of Dr. Neil Anderson's seminar about Discipleship. I also found out that I wasn't the only Anime/Final Fantasy guy in church. Apparently Jia Wei and Yue Seng both had already watched the DVD rip of the Advent Children movie and Jia Wei was also a fan of Gundam Wing. Looks like the Anime King finally has some disciples, LOL. FFW on Saturday went without a hitch, with my powerpoint skills nearing perfection. Reverend Chua was preaching for FFw though. So it was interesting to hear an FFW sermon in Chinese for once (Though I got C6 for my 'O's, I understood the message throughout. Shows how my listening skills have improved since those days in ACSBR). Then on Sunday, our SS class was merged for that day with Sally's class because she wasn't free(?). Rather nice to have the other half of my cell in SS again.

Currently, I am downloading FFVII: Advent Children (2CD Ver.) onto my computer(now at 24.7%). I am probably ome of the few 'Anime' guys/gals from my school who hasn't watched it yet. I guess I am a very picky person when it comes to the video quality of the anime/movie/show that I am downloading. Of course, my 'picky-ness' will depend on what show and for what reason am I watching it. Stuff like these are worth downloading the 2CD version for its quality and then buying the DVD when it releases. (Ironically, I've never finished playing FF7...)


Since it's a little short, I'll 'bulk' it up by blogging down a list of anime and their respective fansubbers, which I am ACTIVELY following...just for the fun of it.

1) Naruto - Dattebayo Fansubs
Naruto is showing really crappy fillers now, and their still going to show another filler arc from the next episode onwards. How the mighty have fallen...Kakashi gaiden please come ASAP...

2) Gundam SEED Destiny - SEED Fansubs
GSD is nearing its end (Ep 48 of 50 was released last Saturday, though SEED Fansubs have yet to release it...). Probably won't see much of Cagalli(Sobs...) as she's decided to focus on running ORB for now. There's still much Gundam fighting to look forward to (I predict a Destiny vs. Justice and Freedon & Akatsuki vs. Legend finale) and also quite a few more twists, perhaps? Hopefully the ending won't be over-dramatic and predictable.

3) Eureka 7 - Nanashi Fansubs
I am wondering why none of you buggers are watching this. This anime (produced by Sunrise/Bandai, owners of Gundam) is really brilliant stuff. Engaging storyline, lots of twists and turns, brilliant Mecha action scenes...what more can you ask for?

4) Speed Grapher - Shinsen Fansubs
One of the more violent animes this season. At least they don't overkill it like they do in Ichi the Killer(which was really disgusting, stopped watching after the first CD...). Action scenes are pretty good and the storyline is developing well. Watch it if you have the time...

5) Full Metal Panic! The Second Raid - Anime Kingdom and AnimeOne Fansubs
Patiently waiting for the above subbers to release episode 5 when the rest have already released episode 8. My patience is running out though... If you like FMP! anime and novels, you'll definitely like this. Go for it!


The look in your eyes...I don't know what to think about it. Hope...a chance, maybe? Or am I just thinking too much...I'll let God decides if he wants to give me this chance or not.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The one perspective, the right perspective...

Song of the moment: Lifehouse - We'll Never Know

Failure is the only way to learn till you've come undone
The rest we'll never find out what they might have been

And we're not gonna live forever
Can you tell me is it now or never
I'm not gonna make up your mind
I don't wanna live without you and I don't wanna live a lie
We'll never know till we try
Yeah we'll never know till we try
We'll Never Know by Lifehouse

Last Saturday's FFW had Pastor Lek as speaker and his sermon about learning and growing from our disappointments really hit the spot for me (and probably for a lot of my friends too, we're they there on that day). It got me thinking about everything that has happened to me and those around me in the past 12 months. There will be times when we will be disappointed in God when things don't turn out the way we want them. The only way that we can truly move on from these hurts is when we look at things from God's perspective and realize that when we feel hurt, God feels hurt too. We always have to remember to trust in God's plans to give us a hope and a future. Even though we always think we know better, we have to remember that his plans are to prosper and not to harm us. When it seems so hard to live...we must have faith...
(As a side note, the powerpoint slide for worship went smoothly save for a slight delay when they started singing 'Give us Clean Hands'... ^_^)

Industrial Attachment is starting to get really busy now. My supervisor wants our group to start on the CBT(Computer Based Training) program for the project. While we won't be doing the actual programming of the project, we'll still be doing the storyboards for it. Then, there's still photocopying, binding and the cutting of training materials and data sheets to be done and the HTML pages for Alex. I CAN'T wait for 30th September (End of IA)....

There wasn't any cell last Friday because it was a sort of briefing session for Sunday's prayer walk. Everything went alright, though Sandar was a little late. Sunday's prayer walk had a slight complication when it came to the pairings because quite a few people didn't come. My pairing switched from Yue Seng to Agnes then to Sandar then to Pauline before strangely ending up once again with Yue Seng when it came to the actual flyer distribution/prayer walk. God's plan, perhaps? Anyways, things went well throughout the prayer walk/flyer distribution, though the weather was a little(well actually it wasn't just 'a little', it was rather warm) on the warm side (seeing that it was around 12 noon when we reached our assigned blocks, it was kind of expected...).



Now, you all might think, "What 'FIVE QUEER HABITS'?" or " you mean you are QUEER(gay)?". Honestly, this is due to my good friend Natalie selecting for this rather interesting 'survey' of sorts. Since I am too lazy to write my own instructions, I'll just 'borrow' them from Nat's blog.
Nat: (ps: Just in case any of you don't understand, this is what you should do(in order). 1. Explain in your entry why you are doing this. 2. Blog down your 5 queer habits. 3. Choose your 5 victims and then tag your victims with "You Have Been Picked!" in their blogs.)
This got me thinking, do I have any queer habits to speak of? Honestly, I've always thought everything I did was normal (There will of course be people who dispute this statement...). Nonetheless, I shall entertain my 'fans' and write down whatever comes to my hopefully intellectually superior mind (LoL)...

1) I am absolutely not photogenic.
Well, is this considered a habit? I don't think Nat's 'I have sixth sense' is considered a habit so I'll just put this down. Anyways, I notice that I look ugly in like 80% of the photos which I am in. Somehow cameras just can't project my good side...(of course, I have a good side! Bleah!) Maybe I just think too much because....

2) I am a bit of a paranoid person.
No, Nat, I am not copying your 'Sixth sense'. Just mentioning the truth. This is probably due to an embarrassing event which happened to me a couple of years ago which, of course, I WILL NOT MENTION. I am very self-conscious about how I project myself in public and this leads to....

3) I will never leave the house until I consider my hair to be perfectly styled.
I just feel that the hair is the most important thing when it comes to projecting yourself in public, even ahead of what clothes I wear outside. Most likely due to this hairstyle which I keep...and that I am usually too lazy to bother to go and cut it. (PS: No hair is a BIG NO NO! So don't bother asking me to shave it or keep it short)

4) I always look out for good formatting.
Just as Nat always looks out for other people's spelling and tenses, I look out for paragraphing. I absolutely CANNOT bear to read a block of words, no matter how well written it is, if it's not paragraphed properly. So please, paragraph your text with precision and accuracy...

5) I am a indecisive/picky person.
Everytime, before I buy anything worth above $40, I would have at least done a bit of research on the thing which I am about to purchase. Still, due to variety of choices available and aggressive marketing techniques, I still find myself unsure of my purchasing decisions. Since I am a somewhat impatient person when it comes to certain things, I tend to just buy it just to get it over with. This sometimes leads to me regretting what I just bought when I finally get home and take a closer look at the product.

There, done! 5 (Queer/Not so queer/normal/those are not habits!) habits. Hope you guys are happy now...BLEAH!

Now the five people I've gladly chosen to continue this somewhat irrelevant and boring activity are (You know, I suddenly realized how so many of my blog friends have no #%$*% tag board)...
1) Cari Ann
2) Hue Min
3) Jia Wei
4) Kenneth the Kow
5) Ming Jing

Soon, you people will receive a highly irrelevant message on your tag boards informing you that you are chosen for this highly irrelevant activity...

Thursday, September 08, 2005

To live with Pride...that is my Way

Song of the moment: Queen - I Was Born to Love You (Pride TV Drama OP)

I was born to love you
With every single beat of my heart
Yes, I was born to take care of you
Every single day of my life

You are the one for me
I am the man for you
You were made for me
You're my ecstasy
If I was given every opportunity
I'd kill for your love
I Was Born to Love You by Queen

Haven't been in much of a blogging mood in recent weeks. Most probably due to my being bogged down with work and the monotony of office life. However, due to my ever-growing fanbase (At least I think it is growing...if the fanbase really does exist...), I shall try my best to satisfy my fans' growing hunger for my blog updates. (^_^)

As some might already know from my 'Song of the moment', I've started watching a J-Drama called Pride. It stars Takuya Kimura-san as the captain of a Japanese ice hockey team, the Blue Scorpions, who treats ice hockey seriously but treats romance like a game. The first episode seems rather interesting so I'll continue watching for now. Admittedly, the reason I started watching in the first place was because of my respect for Takuya Kimura as an accomplished singer/actor. So far, Kimura-san has not let me down...

Attachment has been the usual. Mass photocopying and binding, then Alex wants me to redo a couple of the HTML pages I edited for him. Just have to ren for 3 weeks ++ before my break comes and I can finally begin building Destiny...

Last Friday was SKMC's anniversary dinner held in the church itself. Quite a few VIPs were there, like the various representatives from the schools in Sengkang, their local MP and a few of the CAC leaders were also in attendance (Samuel Liew's dad being one of them). I was sitting with Jia Zhi, Zhao Yong, Ken and a bunch of other people whom I didn't know really well(;-P). The food there was alright, especially since they had my favorite dish, Fried Prawns with Oats or whatever you call it since I can't remember the name. Highlight of the evening was probably the final performance by the kids from the children church and the youths. My mom was the choreographer for the dance(^_^) and was a little worried when a couple of them went out of sync for awhile but I thought it was good. My brother, Andy and a couple of the youths from my CG, like Sandar, Einstein and Sebastian were also involved (Good job, people!). Took a couple of pictures during the performance, might let you see them if you beg me enough for it(just message me lah...). A warning though, my photographing skills aren't exactly professional.
Then there was no FFW last Saturday, so I took a break by slacking at home, even though I was supposed to go to QCMC for aWe...(Sorry...).

Met Jon and Kris after church to go to Comex at Suntec. I was really hoping the price of Sony's Memory Sticks will drop but the cheapest I could find was $68 (if I remember correctly) for 512MB by a third-party maker. So, I left with just 100 Fullmark CD-Rs and a USB Bluetooth adapter. (Total Damage: $42)
Jon bought a Zen Micro for himself on Saturday only to find out that the price dropped by $40 on Sunday. Nonetheless, he bought another one for his mom as she wanted one(Total Damage: $700++) while Kris bought himself a nice new I-Trigue 3400 from Creative and 50 CD-Rs. (Total Damage: $140+-)
Obviously, I ended up being the person who suffered the least damage, probably due to the fact that I am more guarded when it comes to spending money on somewhat frivolous stuff which I don't really need. (Don't worry, when it comes to my GF, should I ever get one, I'll spend considerably more...LOL)

Finished Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. A really good book in my opinion, but still falls a little short of the standard set by Prisoner of Azkaban. As expected, Harry breaks up with Ginny in an effort to make sure no one else he cares about will get killed again. Now, all that's left is the penultimate book in the series...(Harry/Ginny shippers, don't give up...Rowling will do the right thing...)

To end it off, let me just say that, chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi (When the boat reaches the dock, it'll dock straight)...God will guide us...
To live with Pride...that is my Way

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Normality, somewhere between a fantasy and a nightmare...

Song of the moment: Mikuni Shimokawa - Minamikaze(Full Metal Panic: TSR OP theme)

Once again, normality has settled into my the end, it's just a job to earn a little more pocket money and get a bit more experience of working life. Although it was rather relaxed for the first couple of days, today was photocopying and binding all the way during work. At least it isn't as boring anymore...but I still miss leveling up my characters in FF1...

My church has started a 'combined CG' kind of thing on certain week to facilitate in the preparation for my church's DOC (Days of Outreach and Celebration), where as it says, we do outreach to the community in various ways. Last week's combined cell was training for us youths on how to reach out to non-Christians, done by people from Youth For Christ. Rather interesting, rope tricks and hand gestures with a biblical message in them.
Really screwed up last Saturday for the powerpoint slides. Still haven't really got used to the flow of the music team but I managed to get some kind of continuity when showing the slides, thankfully. Dinner there was good though, fish cake porridge with hot dogs and toast(sounds more like breakfast, doesn't it?). I am still nowhere near done with setting up the computers in Bay for public use. I haven't found the time to go down and start setting it up proper.

Met up with SJ and Jon after Church to do some birthday shopping for two of my classmates(Happy Birthday, KT and Winnie!). Once again, more of my hard earned(or rather, not-so-hard earned) cash goes to buying presents. I also found out SJ's little secret...all I have to say is, "Be a the right thing!!". LOL...just cheer up, you'll find the ONE eventually.
(Anyways, just to give my two classmates a clue, your present are from Perlini's...also Russell Peters is supposedly coming to Singapore on the 12th of October, anyone got info? Let's all buy the tickets together! Otherwise, Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad... )

Now, I have read up till Chapter 30 (a.k.a the final chapter) of HBP, 'The White Tomb'. Dumbledore's killer, while not unexpected, still came as somewhat of a surprise to me. Also, the Half-Blood Price has also been revealed to us. His true was more of a surprise to me as throughout the book, none of the 'clues' ever pointed to him. I expect Chapter 30 to have Harry closing himself emotionally to prepare himself for his showdown against Lord Voldemort. Guess we all must have faith in Rowling to continue to give us readers fanservice and yet stay true to her vision for Harry Potter. You might wonder, is there any fanservice at all in Harry Potter? Some people may not think so, but I feel that the Remus/Tonks relationship was more fanservice than Rowling's plot. Just a personal opinion so don't flame me too much...

There are times, we feel that we have the right to choose how we want to run our lives and it is so hard to stick to God's plans for us. In the end, FAITH makes all the difference...FAITH in what we cannot see or feel, FAITH in what we cannot understand...

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