My Life in Words
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And what I am is a man in a mask... Song of the moment: UVERworld - D-tecnoLife (Bleach 2nd OP) itsuka ushinatte shimau no kana usurete iku egao to kimi wo mamoritai kara hibiku boku wo yobu koe sae kare toki ni sou kaze ni kaki kesaretatte kimi wo mitsuke dasu ienai itami kanashimi de kizu tsuita kimi mou waraenai nante hito girai nante kotoba sou iwanai de mienai mirai ni okoru koto subete ni imi ga aru kara ima wa sono mama de ii kitto kizukeru toki ga kuru daro (Will we lose it someday? I want to protect you and that disappearing smile The ringing voice that calls me dries out Even if it gets erased by the wind along time I will find you Injured with pain and sadness, the you that cannot be healed Don't say words like you can't smile or you hate people Everything that happens in the unseen future has a meaning So stay like this, there'll come a time when you will realize) D-tecnoLife by UVERworld Finally, after quite sometime, I've actually updated my blog on time (within a week of the previous entry). Honestly, I am not particularly eager to blog about anything but i figure that if I drag things too long, I'll end up forgetting about the stuff which I want to put down in this blog. As usual let's go in chronological order. Last Saturday's FFW was quite interesting. Weiliang, Ken and Sandar shared about their experience during the previous FFW. It was really amazing to hear people talk about how they felt when they were being touched by the Holy Spirit. And suprisingly enough, I actually came forward during the altar call. If you all know me well enough, you'll probably know that I usually don't respond or come forward during the altar call. Not that I am shy or anything, it's just that you aren't really sure if it's really God speaking to you or just your own emotions. For me, everything just went on automatic last Saturday. I wasn't really focused during Pastor Lek's sermon but after that when the worship team started singing 'Consuming Fire', it really touched me and that's when I decided to step up during the altar call. I honestly didn't really have the urge to pray about anything. When Weiliang asked me what I wanted him to pray about, I just said the first thing that came to my heart, that I felt that I wasn't doing enough in the sight of God and that I wanted God to change my life. It really helped me in the sense that it was the first time I openly admitted that I was struggling in my walk with God. I've always felt that my problems were relatively miniscule compared to other people in the Youth but I've come to accept the fact that no matter how big or small your problems are, you can always turn to God. I really wanted to watch a movie on Sunday(or rather, I wanted to watch either V for Vendetta or Date Movie) so I purposely stayed back on Sunday to try and convince a few people that it was good to watch a movie on Sunday even though the prices they charge are ridiculously expensive on weekends. As you probably might have guessed, I ended up going somewhere else. In this case, I followed Jowell and Co. for an impromptu birthday celebration at Ajisen Ramen(yes, of all places...). After the eating(or for others, getting 'up close and personal' with their cake), Jowell and Co. went to play LAN while Angela, Jia Wei and myself ended up playing pool. For the trip home, I ended up 'escorting'(well, until Bishan anyway) Agnes home since Jowell had a curfew(You should have explained to your parents that you needed to escort her home...must be more 'nan zi han' next time, OK?). Since I didn't manage to catch a movie on Sunday, I finally watched one on Wednesday. Jia Wei and I went to watch 'V for Vandetta' at GV Bishan(Thanks for coming all the way down here...). The show was one of the best I've watched for quite sometime. However, while I find the title character, 'V', was really well presented by Hugo Weaving(FYI: He's 'Agent Smith' from Matrix), it was a little irritating in the beginning to find him speaking rapidly in Victorian English to Natalie Portman's character, Evey. Overall, a 4/5 stars for the show. Today came early to church to try and install some stuff into the computer. However, since I don't know the password which Tat Him set and I can't contact him since he's overseas, Bay will have to wait a little longer for 'Insanaquarium'. I also joined the Army Support Group today together with Andy, who's going in next week. During the 'sharing' period, I guess I got to know the 2 extremities of what BMT in Tekong would be like. While I am not particularly praying to get into a welfare company(well, maybe a little), I would want to be assigned to a place where I could grow stronger physically and spiritually. So, keep me in your prayers. Don't forget Andy, who's going into Tekong 8th of April. "Disdaining fortune with his brandished steel / Which smoked with bloody execution..." Quoting 'V' whose quoting from 'Macbeth'. Not in the sense that I seek out my own way instead of God's, but in the sense that I'll be able to reject the 'easy' path and go for the 'right' path instead. Of course, I still struggle with 'certain things'. Perhaps I am still trying to convince myself. That waiting is the right thing to do. Sometimes, I really don't know. It's just that at times, the fear of losing 'it' just never seems to fade. I still hope, I still pray that God will show me the right thing to do... Friday, March 17, 2006 All I can do is wait...for anything and everything Song of the moment: HIllsong United - What The World Will Never Take With all I'm hoping to be And all that the world will bring And all that fails to compare You say You want all of me I wouldn't have it any other way I've got a Saviour and He's living in me WHOA I wanna know I wanna know You today And You're the best thing that has happened to me And the world will never take The world will never take You away What The World Will Never Take by Hillsong United Despite my 'ORD' from NYP, I have yet to really find the time to update my blog regularly. Thus, I once again (and probably for not the last time) apologize for my rather late entry. It is pleasing to note that people like Nat look forward to reading my entries. Thanks alot for your 'ardent' support of my blog. ^_^ Some of you might be wondering what exactly caused me to miss updating my blog. It was, in fact, a rather sudden last minute part time job that me and Samuel received, courtesy of Jerlin's workplace. It was basically data entry of business card information of people from rather out of the way countries (eg: Mauritania). It was, honestly, REALLY boring and the computer I was given lagged like no tomorrow but the pay was good, the working hours are alright and the people there are friendly. So, I can frankly say I don't really have much complaint about the environment at least. Tiff and Company (the one from Hakka) was working there also. Quite interesting to see them after sometime but didn't really talk to them much, save for the cursory 'Good morning' and 'Bye'. From what I've heard from Melvin, everything seems alright back at HKMC, so no worries there. Sometimes I do think about what would have happened had I chose to stay at HKMC (Haven't I mentioned this before? I guess meeting them really made me reminicse about the old days...). Then I probably would never have met people like Jia Wei, Sebastian and Steven, most importantly, I wouldn't have met HER. Would I have met someone else? Maybe but coming to SKMC has really changed my life and I thank God for that. Sally has put me in charge of our youth's Easter event called "Journey to the Cross" (13/4-15/4). It's basically a prayer station activity where we enable the youths to draw closer to God through prayer and experience a little of Jesus' journey to the cross. Planning so far has been rather smooth, with no hiccups save for the last station. Thankfully I am not working solo since I'll have the ACLs to help me out. Please keep me and the D'Anchor ACLs in your prayers as we plan the event. So now the previous 1 + 2 has become 1 + 2 + 2 + 2 (Sounds nonsensical, doesn't it?). And honestly, 7 is already quite a lot of people. Whoever thinks that they know what I am talking about(or knows for that matter), please keep your mouth (and your keyboard happy fingers, just in case) shut and taped up. Recently, I feel all that I have been doing is waiting. Waiting for a train to come, waiting for my results, waiting for my MINDEF 'love letter', waiting for the right moment to... I feel really sick of waiting. Sometimes (or rather most of the time), I just want to get it over with instead of waiting. To just not know about what you want to know feels really horrible. All I can do is pray that I become more patient and mature during this period of time before NS... Thursday, March 02, 2006 Ain't got that feeling yet... Song of the moment: L'Arc~en~Ciel - Link (Fullmetal Alchemist Movie OP) oboeteiru kai? osanai koro kara tsumasakidachi de todokanai tobira ga atta yo ne jikan wo wasurete samayoitsukushita meiro no michi ha itsumo soko ni ikiataru muishiki ni kimi no egao wo sagasu no ha tomerarenai nani hitotsu kawarazu ni ima mo boku ha kaketeyuku tatoe haruka tooku hanarebanare ni natte mo tsunagariau omoi itazura na unmei ga furikakarou to mo koware ya shinai (Do you remember? When you were young there were doors you couldn't reach even on tip-toe Losing track of time, entirely lost and wandering The path of the maze always ends up there. I can't stop myself from subconsciously seeking out your smile Even now, nothing's changed, I still run after you No matter how very far apart we are this feeling connects us. Even if a mischievious fate should befall us, it can't be destroyed.) Link by L'Arc~en~Ciel After 4 weeks of struggle, all my projects, common tests and exams are finally over. I am now an UNofficial graduate of Nanyang Polytechnic. Hopefully it will become 'official' in approximately two weeks time when my results come back. To be honest, I don't feel like I've graduated. It's really different from the end of my 'O' Levels when I went to buy my PlayStation 2 as a sort of celebratory present. I theorized that its probably due to the different kind of study environment and lack of external pressure. Nonetheless, this race I've finished, others...still go on. Due to my missing the last 2 weeks of blogging, I actually haven't really blogged about Retro Night yet. In case some of you non-SKMCers are wondering, Retro Night was a sort of thanksgiving dinner/outreach event for the parents of the youths. The food was good too, although our cell was one of the few who actually made an effort to make something (no offence or anything but I think Spaghetti and home-made sauce is a lot harder to make than egg and tuna sandwiches). Since I probably can't recall the whole event, all I'll say that it was fun. Not VERY fun but more than just fun (^_^). Let us fast forward to this week, when I did the last of my Polytechnic exams. Had no problems at all on the m-Commerce paper but I probably could have done better. Jimmy Ang really played us on the MCT exam though. Gave us quite alot of false leads and generally misled everyone who took the exam. I asked him about it later and he actually said that he couldn't give us 100% correct tips which to me was pure and utter crap. If Hammed and Szeto could give us the right tips, why couldn't he do the same? While I'll most likely pass this module, my overall grade for this probably won't be the best. Well, no use crying over spilled milk, right? Let's just hope the mess won't be too big to clean up... ~~~ I cannot understand how can guys be even more 'gossip-y' than girls! I am, of course, referring to a particular big junior of mine and his partner in crime. My private life is none of your @&%##% business. Look up the dictionary if you don't know what does the word 'private' mean. I am, I repeat, still happy with my status quo. Which means, I have no intention of doing anything yet. Thus, don't try to help it along in the wrong direction.
Designed and coded by CWYX.

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Friday, March 24, 2006

Who is but the form following the function of what. And what I am is a man in a mask...

Song of the moment: UVERworld - D-tecnoLife (Bleach 2nd OP)

itsuka ushinatte shimau no kana
usurete iku egao to kimi wo mamoritai kara
hibiku boku wo yobu koe sae kare
toki ni sou kaze ni kaki kesaretatte
kimi wo mitsuke dasu

ienai itami kanashimi de kizu tsuita kimi
mou waraenai nante hito girai nante kotoba sou iwanai de
mienai mirai ni okoru koto subete ni imi ga aru kara
ima wa sono mama de ii kitto kizukeru toki ga kuru daro

(Will we lose it someday?
I want to protect you and that disappearing smile
The ringing voice that calls me dries out
Even if it gets erased by the wind along time
I will find you

Injured with pain and sadness, the you that cannot be healed
Don't say words like you can't smile or you hate people
Everything that happens in the unseen future has a meaning
So stay like this, there'll come a time when you will realize)
D-tecnoLife by UVERworld

Finally, after quite sometime, I've actually updated my blog on time (within a week of the previous entry). Honestly, I am not particularly eager to blog about anything but i figure that if I drag things too long, I'll end up forgetting about the stuff which I want to put down in this blog.

As usual let's go in chronological order. Last Saturday's FFW was quite interesting. Weiliang, Ken and Sandar shared about their experience during the previous FFW. It was really amazing to hear people talk about how they felt when they were being touched by the Holy Spirit. And suprisingly enough, I actually came forward during the altar call. If you all know me well enough, you'll probably know that I usually don't respond or come forward during the altar call. Not that I am shy or anything, it's just that you aren't really sure if it's really God speaking to you or just your own emotions. For me, everything just went on automatic last Saturday. I wasn't really focused during Pastor Lek's sermon but after that when the worship team started singing 'Consuming Fire', it really touched me and that's when I decided to step up during the altar call.
I honestly didn't really have the urge to pray about anything. When Weiliang asked me what I wanted him to pray about, I just said the first thing that came to my heart, that I felt that I wasn't doing enough in the sight of God and that I wanted God to change my life. It really helped me in the sense that it was the first time I openly admitted that I was struggling in my walk with God. I've always felt that my problems were relatively miniscule compared to other people in the Youth but I've come to accept the fact that no matter how big or small your problems are, you can always turn to God.

I really wanted to watch a movie on Sunday(or rather, I wanted to watch either V for Vendetta or Date Movie) so I purposely stayed back on Sunday to try and convince a few people that it was good to watch a movie on Sunday even though the prices they charge are ridiculously expensive on weekends. As you probably might have guessed, I ended up going somewhere else. In this case, I followed Jowell and Co. for an impromptu birthday celebration at Ajisen Ramen(yes, of all places...). After the eating(or for others, getting 'up close and personal' with their cake), Jowell and Co. went to play LAN while Angela, Jia Wei and myself ended up playing pool. For the trip home, I ended up 'escorting'(well, until Bishan anyway) Agnes home since Jowell had a curfew(You should have explained to your parents that you needed to escort her home...must be more 'nan zi han' next time, OK?).

Since I didn't manage to catch a movie on Sunday, I finally watched one on Wednesday. Jia Wei and I went to watch 'V for Vandetta' at GV Bishan(Thanks for coming all the way down here...). The show was one of the best I've watched for quite sometime. However, while I find the title character, 'V', was really well presented by Hugo Weaving(FYI: He's 'Agent Smith' from Matrix), it was a little irritating in the beginning to find him speaking rapidly in Victorian English to Natalie Portman's character, Evey. Overall, a 4/5 stars for the show.

Today came early to church to try and install some stuff into the computer. However, since I don't know the password which Tat Him set and I can't contact him since he's overseas, Bay will have to wait a little longer for 'Insanaquarium'. I also joined the Army Support Group today together with Andy, who's going in next week. During the 'sharing' period, I guess I got to know the 2 extremities of what BMT in Tekong would be like. While I am not particularly praying to get into a welfare company(well, maybe a little), I would want to be assigned to a place where I could grow stronger physically and spiritually. So, keep me in your prayers. Don't forget Andy, who's going into Tekong 8th of April.

"Disdaining fortune with his brandished steel / Which smoked with bloody execution..." Quoting 'V' whose quoting from 'Macbeth'. Not in the sense that I seek out my own way instead of God's, but in the sense that I'll be able to reject the 'easy' path and go for the 'right' path instead.
Of course, I still struggle with 'certain things'. Perhaps I am still trying to convince myself. That waiting is the right thing to do. Sometimes, I really don't know. It's just that at times, the fear of losing 'it' just never seems to fade. I still hope, I still pray that God will show me the right thing to do...

Friday, March 17, 2006

All I can do is wait...for anything and everything

Song of the moment: HIllsong United - What The World Will Never Take

With all I'm hoping to be
And all that the world will bring
And all that fails to compare

You say You want all of me
I wouldn't have it any other way

I've got a Saviour and He's living in me
WHOA
I wanna know
I wanna know You today

And You're the best thing that has happened to me
And the world will never take
The world will never take You away
What The World Will Never Take by Hillsong United

Despite my 'ORD' from NYP, I have yet to really find the time to update my blog regularly. Thus, I once again (and probably for not the last time) apologize for my rather late entry. It is pleasing to note that people like Nat look forward to reading my entries. Thanks alot for your 'ardent' support of my blog. ^_^

Some of you might be wondering what exactly caused me to miss updating my blog. It was, in fact, a rather sudden last minute part time job that me and Samuel received, courtesy of Jerlin's workplace. It was basically data entry of business card information of people from rather out of the way countries (eg: Mauritania). It was, honestly, REALLY boring and the computer I was given lagged like no tomorrow but the pay was good, the working hours are alright and the people there are friendly. So, I can frankly say I don't really have much complaint about the environment at least. Tiff and Company (the one from Hakka) was working there also. Quite interesting to see them after sometime but didn't really talk to them much, save for the cursory 'Good morning' and 'Bye'. From what I've heard from Melvin, everything seems alright back at HKMC, so no worries there.
Sometimes I do think about what would have happened had I chose to stay at HKMC (Haven't I mentioned this before? I guess meeting them really made me reminicse about the old days...). Then I probably would never have met people like Jia Wei, Sebastian and Steven, most importantly, I wouldn't have met HER. Would I have met someone else? Maybe but coming to SKMC has really changed my life and I thank God for that.

Sally has put me in charge of our youth's Easter event called "Journey to the Cross" (13/4-15/4). It's basically a prayer station activity where we enable the youths to draw closer to God through prayer and experience a little of Jesus' journey to the cross. Planning so far has been rather smooth, with no hiccups save for the last station. Thankfully I am not working solo since I'll have the ACLs to help me out. Please keep me and the D'Anchor ACLs in your prayers as we plan the event.

So now the previous 1 + 2 has become 1 + 2 + 2 + 2 (Sounds nonsensical, doesn't it?). And honestly, 7 is already quite a lot of people. Whoever thinks that they know what I am talking about(or knows for that matter), please keep your mouth (and your keyboard happy fingers, just in case) shut and taped up.

Recently, I feel all that I have been doing is waiting. Waiting for a train to come, waiting for my results, waiting for my MINDEF 'love letter', waiting for the right moment to... I feel really sick of waiting. Sometimes (or rather most of the time), I just want to get it over with instead of waiting. To just not know about what you want to know feels really horrible. All I can do is pray that I become more patient and mature during this period of time before NS...

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Ain't got that feeling yet...

Song of the moment: L'Arc~en~Ciel - Link (Fullmetal Alchemist Movie OP)

oboeteiru kai?
osanai koro kara tsumasakidachi de todokanai tobira ga atta yo ne
jikan wo wasurete samayoitsukushita
meiro no michi ha itsumo soko ni ikiataru

muishiki ni kimi no egao wo sagasu no ha tomerarenai
nani hitotsu kawarazu ni ima mo boku ha kaketeyuku

tatoe haruka tooku hanarebanare ni natte mo tsunagariau omoi
itazura na unmei ga furikakarou to mo koware ya shinai

(Do you remember?
When you were young there were doors you couldn't reach even on tip-toe
Losing track of time, entirely lost and wandering
The path of the maze always ends up there.

I can't stop myself from subconsciously seeking out your smile
Even now, nothing's changed, I still run after you

No matter how very far apart we are this feeling connects us.
Even if a mischievious fate should befall us, it can't be destroyed.)
Link by L'Arc~en~Ciel

After 4 weeks of struggle, all my projects, common tests and exams are finally over. I am now an UNofficial graduate of Nanyang Polytechnic. Hopefully it will become 'official' in approximately two weeks time when my results come back. To be honest, I don't feel like I've graduated. It's really different from the end of my 'O' Levels when I went to buy my PlayStation 2 as a sort of celebratory present. I theorized that its probably due to the different kind of study environment and lack of external pressure. Nonetheless, this race I've finished, others...still go on.

Due to my missing the last 2 weeks of blogging, I actually haven't really blogged about Retro Night yet. In case some of you non-SKMCers are wondering, Retro Night was a sort of thanksgiving dinner/outreach event for the parents of the youths. The food was good too, although our cell was one of the few who actually made an effort to make something (no offence or anything but I think Spaghetti and home-made sauce is a lot harder to make than egg and tuna sandwiches). Since I probably can't recall the whole event, all I'll say that it was fun. Not VERY fun but more than just fun (^_^).

Let us fast forward to this week, when I did the last of my Polytechnic exams. Had no problems at all on the m-Commerce paper but I probably could have done better. Jimmy Ang really played us on the MCT exam though. Gave us quite alot of false leads and generally misled everyone who took the exam. I asked him about it later and he actually said that he couldn't give us 100% correct tips which to me was pure and utter crap. If Hammed and Szeto could give us the right tips, why couldn't he do the same? While I'll most likely pass this module, my overall grade for this probably won't be the best. Well, no use crying over spilled milk, right? Let's just hope the mess won't be too big to clean up...

~~~

I cannot understand how can guys be even more 'gossip-y' than girls! I am, of course, referring to a particular big junior of mine and his partner in crime. My private life is none of your @&%##% business. Look up the dictionary if you don't know what does the word 'private' mean. I am, I repeat, still happy with my status quo. Which means, I have no intention of doing anything yet. Thus, don't try to help it along in the wrong direction.

Designed and coded by CWYX.